Memoirs of a kuudere.

514

2012-01-27T20:20:00.000+08:00

^{Thanks Twitter <3}

513

2012-01-27T20:06:00.003+08:00

^{Have you ever wonder that you said yes too much? Sebab nak jaga hati orang, kawan2 ke etc.?
Sometimes I do say no, in a polite way.

But I actually feels like saying no, this way:

"Fuck no, when I say no, means no. If you're still gonna do it, then don't let me see it, if not, fuck you. Bl Fuck you and your stuffs.

Wait I'm gonna flip a table *flips table*

Now I'm outta here *disappears*"

That sounds cool BD}

512

2012-01-27T14:40:00.001+08:00

^{That awkward moment when the songs I hate cheered me up.}

511

2012-01-27T07:55:00.000+08:00

^{That weird moment where I wish to go back KL this weekend, lol.}

510

2012-01-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

^{"I would love to stare at you for eternity."
Sounds like a lie to me.}

509

2012-01-26T15:48:00.003+08:00

^{You know why I don't curse? Because every word is a prayer, I would never want bad things to be happen to you. Though it did, and it's because of me myself. You can curse me all you want, yes, screw me, screw me, screw me.
I forgive you, and I love you :')

That moment when you realized everything is over.}

508

2012-01-26T14:17:00.002+08:00

^{And so the journey begins, this is the part where you see the "to be continued" stuffs on your screen.}

507

2012-01-24T10:49:00.002+08:00

^{"I... just broke the taboo.. Didn't I?"
The man didn't reply. She is now scarred to death, she wonder what kind of punishment awaits her. She's confused, she didn't know what to do, all that she knew, she has wasted her chance to be as free as the birds soaring the air. She has wasted everything, only to find out that she has break the taboo.

"What have you done?" he finally spoke. His voice was unusual, low whisper-like. He didn't have his usual face with him, his eyebrows went downwards, not sure whether he's angry or sad, or frustrated.

She couldn't answer. Her father's corpse was still lying behind her, she was covered with blood. She wondered what kind of feeling was that. The feeling she felt trap, helpless, that she wanted to kill someone so much. She had kill her own father. She lost her sanity for a while, and now she started to regret it, but she knew it was too late. You can't bring a soul back to life.

He kneels down in front of her. She didn't want to face him, again, she couldn't stand but only to cry. Again, she felt helpless, the same situation where they first met, she thought herself that she only knows how to cry and not solving a problem. She never kill anyone in her whole life, she couldn't think of any other besides than what she did.

He puts his right hand on her head. She remembers that he did that too the first time they met. "I can't tolerate this, dear. You know what I usually do to my contractors that break the taboos?" his face showed reluctance, "I end their life."

That shocked her, is he going to kill her? She hoped not, but her hope always go to the trash, it's always useless for her. What's done is done, and she can't run away from her fate.

He then smiled, a sad one. "...I can't.." his words hanged, and he continued, "I can't.. do it.." and he held her face in both of his palm, she could feel the aura when both of black and white touched her face, as if her life is at stake.

He then kissed her forehead, warm and tender. It was a surprise for her, but she felt comfortable. Her tears were still running like a river. It was brief, he then leaned his forehead against hers, his lips, and part of his face was stained by the blood too now, and not to mention his gloves. His face were consumed by confusion, as if he can't decide.

"I never done this, but.. I won't end your life. Not now." He declared, and his face turned serious, "But I will prison you, so that you could never see the world anymore. You could never feel the sunlight nor the rain on your skin. You can never enjoy the wonders of the world anymore. If I myself can't end your life, at least I would still give you punishment, and this will take place, forever. You shall only find your peace when you die."

She felt as if there's a bullet going through her brain. Even though she doesn't have to die, she has to accept the fact that she'll be cage away from the world, and for eternity. She tried to find a word to speak, but she found nothing. For once, she rather die.

"You shall not escape the manor. You will be chained and be guarded by the beast that knows nothing of peacefulness, and it will take care of you, to make sure you will never escape. Even so, you will live for eternity, but shall the thorns consume your blood for it to live, and you can't deny your new life, of living in the eternal darkness."

He puts his left hand before her face, black glove, she thought. And that means only one thing, the negativity and beyond, the opposite and the worst a person could get. She realized that he's not gonna kill her, but only to make her suffer for the rest of her life.

Everything went too fast, no matter how much she begged, she's just a lost soul, lost from the world. Humans started to tell legends about her, and they refer to her as the Thorn Maiden. Legend has it that she's one of the rarest creature on Earth, and no one could find her because she has been kept hidden away from the world. No one dares to search for her, as they are either too scared they would get lost, or they are scared she will kill them. The Thorn Maiden dislikes being disturb, and wishes only to be alone, grieving of her pasts and what she has done to make herself ended up like this. She regrets everything of her life, she regrets herself for being born in this world. So no one dared to know if the legend is true or not, for many has failed to search for this creature.

And a man heard of this legend, never he wants to find her, but little did he knows, his fate is about to change.}

506

2012-01-23T23:31:00.001+08:00

^{I decided myself, I'm making a character sheet of the Thorn Maiden =-= since I realized I kept drawing her but I don't have her character sheet like my other OCs (but I never posted them online LOL)}

505

2012-01-23T19:27:00.000+08:00

................................................................

504

2012-01-23T08:30:00.001+08:00

^{"I'm not strong like everyone thinks I am. Marshall died because of me. I could have done something."}

503

2012-01-23T00:05:00.001+08:00

I got a lot of thing to talk about, but I'm too lazy to type. There are a lot of things going on im my mind but yeah, I'm too lazy to type.

No more

2012-01-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

^{"I am no more than just a Lieutenant." she said.}

So.

2012-01-21T00:10:00.002+08:00

^{This week ended, and I only typed till Wesnesday, no?
So, on Thursday, nothing much happened though :3 we had class as usual, listening test and a little bit of writing, drawing class and another test on the night, and it passed, and I became a psycho patient on the night, they tied my sleeves at the back, kinda reminds myself of Agito from Air Gear though XD and we ran away from the police because it was late, so.

And on Friday class went as usual, sleepy in class and got lectured by the lecturer, lol. And another class went by, the lecturer told us about the corporate manual. And uh, I didn't show him my logo (comprehensive) because I want to proceed to digital.

And tomorrow I will go back to KL.

So it wasn't a bad week, I got through it, but just prepare after holidays, because I got a presentation to do.

So I've to buy markers tomorrow, and hopefully I would still have enough money for the upcoming two months. Well, it won't be enough actually, but I still have to live, what to do, right.

I hope I get to cosplay, or draw in this short time of holidays. Well, I HOPE.

Was thinking of bringing in cosplay into Symptoms II.}

500 - FREE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP FOR A DAY

2012-01-20T00:32:00.001+08:00

^{at deviantart.comhttp://ayame-kenoshi.deviantart.com/journal/It-s-Free-Premium-Membership-Day-280181483

AND IT'S MY 500TH POST, AND MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON CAME OFF :C *SOBS*}

499

2012-01-18T17:55:00.002+08:00

^{Is it just me or this is my lucky week?
On Monday, there was a Graphic Communication class. All of us are pretty much scared of the lecturer, because he is quite fussy about our logo works. Fortunately I get to proceed to comprehension and have to make it digital. Moreover, he complimented my drawing strokes ouo (and I must be one of the best stalker, I've found out my senior's name) ^A^

On Tuesday, we have to show our illustration lecturer our A3 pictures for our tracing marker stuffs OTL and he's pretty fussy too, he doesn't want the picture to look pixel, it has to look smooth whatsoever. Fortunately mine didn't get rejected. So. ^A^

Today, I was suppose to do the presentation for our ko-ko, HKR111, but turns out we've to do it next week, then I made a new friend (but Idk her name OTL), then turns out that she's from the same college as I am too, then I found a money on the floor, so we shared.

._. Is this a coincidence or something? I'm looking forward tomorrow. We can't expect anything good to happen nor anything bad.}

498

2012-01-17T01:38:00.003+08:00

^{And so, Symptoms II will be held at 10-12 February, and they started to procrastinate. And perhaps they will procrastinate some more, because of JPAM's camping.
And this event started to ruin my normal college life.

I want to focus on Citrawarna first since we're gonna take part on 27Jan, and Symptoms II... it's not even here yet and they want to see the performance this Wednesday already. How is it suppose to be possible to do it all in less than 24 hours?

...It's too tired to rant, it's almost 2AM here and I haven't finish my illustration work to be honest, though we have to submit the work TOMORROW (I mean TODAY)...

Maybe I should do so before going out to buy the ticket home.

IT WAS THE LONGEST MEETING I'VE EVER HAD EXPERIENCED IN MY WHOLE LIFE OF LIVING FOR 18 YEARS DFHJSDKFHLDAL

Dear Symptoms II,
Please don't ruin my peaceful college life.
I prioritize what comes first, the assignments,
and then Citrawarna.
Then only I can focus on you.

Please don't make me stress.}

497 - Just a rant

2012-01-15T23:40:00.004+08:00

^{This is what happens when I gave a chance to Skullcandy. Yeah I am obsessed with headphone actually, just that only a few would know this. Since before this, my sister broke my white headphone (I forgot what brand was that), so I had to buy a new one. And I want to buy Beats one day, have to keep money for that.
It was a tiring day. I just finished my semi-comprehension, and tomorrow will do the portrait and figure, which I hope I will make it because recently we got a lot of meeting, and tomorrow we will be having a Gradient meeting for the Symptoms II event, and I hope I would have enough time to finish all four of the drawings for Tuesday.

Don't ask me why don't I do it now, because I am tired and sleepy. I will have to be like a train express tomorrow, I rarely do get a proper sleep because of assignments and meetings. See, even if you're barely here, I mean, even if people here barely see you, you just have to participate and be active. I wish I don't have to, but as usual, they would say this and that is compulsory, so that the fish would catch the bait. And we want a place for ourselves in here, we want a college and room for us, and we're pretty much scared of our coordinator.

I don't know why I am ranting here. This place makes event last minute. and they always clash with each other. Always everything last minute. I dislike it, and I am pretty sure I am not the only one.

And we plus, we got a test this upcoming Thursday, how bad can it be? Gradient meeting, Symptoms II performance, Cheers performance and a test. ALL in just four days that we have to accomplish it. What? Symptoms II will be on 3,4,5 February. Why rushing? Is it because of Citrawarna? Is it because of Open College? ETC ETC?

You want us to work to death. What is this, some kind of military?}

Tiring

2012-01-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

^{I have no idea what to type, it's Saturday and I seriously did nothing at all, even assignments. It's the day where I usually just go lazy *opens the lazy song*
: l I am alone here, Yun went to camp, Sarah went home, and Mijah, well she's MIA.

So I'm kind of 'lepak'-ing with Marina.

uh what else to say.

Oh tomorrow got shooting. That's all. And I've to do assignment tomorrow.}

This is fun lol

2012-01-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

^:'D

494

2012-01-13T13:44:00.003+08:00

^{Nowadays, I have no idea what to type about. I got a lot of assignments to do.
Maybe I should just type about them.

This weekend (I think), they're gonna make the video testing for the TV ad already. Maybe they're gonna make the full video already, well maybe. And we're gonna take the headphone product name Beats.

I think they're gonna change the name to Beets. We have to change the name, you know, so they won't sue us or something.

And they want me to be the actress =-=

Well they got their own idea, and this is mine:

I am hearing to beats, when suddenly Amin runs by and stole it from me, so from there it will be a chasing scene, when Amin steals it, he puts in on and put a song (and for the song, I have the idea to put an immediate song - Fahrenheit) and the song should be the epic song during all of the scene.

I thought of putting parkour in there, but not sure if we could perform it well lol, maybe should do the simple ones, but still thinking of our safety and all. Mama is the director and the videographer, grandma should be the editor and papa will be the helper.

Okay, and then the almost ending part is that I go accidentally hitting against a tree/pole/wall/etc and fall down and pass out. Amin sees me and he looks behind and keep running and laughing, and when he looks back at front, the history repeats itself. He accidentally hit a wall/pole/tree/etc.

And both of us passed out. The song still going on.

And a random person runs by and steals the headphone. The random person should be papa I think.

And after that blahs, as usual, promote the headphone.}

493

2012-01-12T22:53:00.002+08:00

^{I do not know why, when I love someone, especially my friend (sorry, I'm gonna type about my friend here, not Shuu this time, because I miss her actually), I tend to become very offensive towards her. She didn't do anything wrong almost all the time she's with me, but she always told herself that she always does mistake(s) to me and always pull me to her problem(s).
Well she knows I want to tell her that too. I know I want to, but somehow I can't bring myself to do it.

It's like I don't mind helping her but act as if I dislike her or something.

Tsundere, that's what people call it.}

492

2012-01-12T00:33:00.001+08:00

^{"Nod at the bird and people die, everywhere people die"}

491

2012-01-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

^{The lecturer told me I've failed the marker assessment when he was just fooling around with me, I actually got an A.}

490

2012-01-10T16:52:00.001+08:00

^{So today we went to Zoo Melaka, like a field trip or something. If only I have a camera, I can tell the story here =-=lll
............

OTL *killself*}

I'm sorry

2012-01-09T21:47:00.001+08:00

^{You know that feeling when you want to cry and you take the chance to hold you head and give it a little pressure while caressing it. Because I am doing it now.}

-

2012-01-09T19:54:00.000+08:00

Nothing to read here.

Totally random

2012-01-09T00:00:00.003+08:00

^{Honestly, I don't know what to type.
I only did 10 logos for tomorrow Graphic Communication II lesson, and actually that's a lot (kind of, put yourself in my shoes and imagine me trying to find ideas to do so), so it means I did 20 logos now (20 logos on Zoo Melaka OTL) and I hope lecturer will like it (sounds impossible OTL) because I kind of like it myself (perasan jap hohoho). :3 They say the wings look good, honestly Idk if it is or no, I'm not that fond drawing wings, just that. XD LOL

I bought a new shoes XD hahaha well but this time not sneakers. Yes I do like sneakers a lot, but this time I don't buy one because it's hard to find a high quality of a pair of sneakers. It can go easily tear off at the sole (is that how you say it? :/) because most of the material isn't thick. X3 So I gave a chance to other shoes for me to try ~ I don't know what shoes is that (because the funny thing is when I tried to google it, nothing came out) but the name is Axel Ax Smith, yeah I never heard of that before. Actually the reason why I bought it is because I love the colours XD It's black with gold linings, reminds me so much of 07 Ghost <3 *smackself*

Oh well it's not everyday I get to buy new things, and I rarely buy a shoes, so why not get one myself XP

(And again, Idk what to type about O-o)

I bought 5 packets of KitKat. Okay kill me now please. I really need to be wise on my money so I won't waste everything. I still owe Kay Ai money and I have no idea when do I get to pay it (it's so hard to pay it because I'm here at UITM and Maybank is so far away I've to take bus or taxi and I don't know when do I have the time to go out orz orz orz), I hope Haruhi-nyan won't keep pushing me or something T-T orz sobs sobs, sorry for forget to pay you at CF OTL

What else to type? (Wow I'm totally random today)

I realized some people tend to colour black lighter today while I'm going darker for that colour, I wonder why. Well I could say evolute but that's weird because I used to colour black lightly, and people coloured it dark. Now it goes vice-versa, and I still wonder why. HAHA XD

OTL RANDOM RANDOM}

KI

2012-01-07T20:59:00.002+08:00

^{KI this time taught me something. We learnt communications, we learnt to accept our weaknesses and our advantages. We learnt to talk to people properly, tegur diorang baik2 and all. We learnt that we are all just the same, same normal humans that makes mistakes in our lives. We learnt to accept each other, accept ourselves and love who we are. Sure people do judge others (honestly I don't like to do that though) but it's life, we have to face it no matter what.
All of us wrote down the positive and negative of ourselves on a piece of paper.

I did the same, and I found out lots about me (lol as if I don't know myself) and I could say I'm not a good person but at the same time I'm not a total villain either. Oh well, nothing much to say.

And we did some activities regarding this. Today was all about communication.

Just because I'm an AD student that doesn't mean I don't know how to communicate. Sure I am not a good person, but I do think I talk a lot like my mum does.

Hm... I kinda forgot what to type now.

Maybe we will go out tomorrow.}

Busy

2012-01-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

^{Shall I be today.}

As the time goes by

2012-01-06T01:26:00.002+08:00

^{I should be sleeping now, because class starts early tomorrow. But just before that, I really, for once, want to type properly in this blog. No not type long sentences and all, but just the proper feeling of typing in a blog, a real feeling of which I want to show, emotions to flow in here.
Why am I starting to babble?

I believe, life is just that. Life is the reason itself. Nowadays pessimistic conquers the world. Conquers me. I really want to keep that to a minimum level, but often find myself in my sense of rivalry. I find myself uncomfortable with certain people, but I always keep the feeling to myself. I don't like this feeling, it gives me pressure. Though I believe that, with pressure, it keeps me alerted, and let me do the best, let out the best of me.

People may hate me or like me. I don't like trouble, and I don't like people to hate me, especially those who I do not know, at all or no. I don't mind if a person hates me because I hate him/her, I deserve to, because I'm giving them such impression. I'm not a good person, I cause nothing but trouble and misery, with purpose or no. I don't seem to bring happiness and I am not friendly either. I don't socialize much and I don't really like to talk. I am not close with my family and I have less friends now, I seem to have less of them talking to me.

One of the only place where I spill out what I want to say, is here. Though what I see, I don't have a good English, broken English here and there and I babble about anything I want. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm talking about.

In my life, I know it's about me. Good or bad I have to face it. I have to move on with life. So if you have any problem with me, that's your problem.

I have to move on.}

Class

2012-01-05T12:52:00.002+08:00

^{Class starts on 2.30pm
It will be a drawing class. Unfortunately this semester, I don't really enjoy drawing class like I did last semester. It's like my passion in drawing has gone these days. Like I've given up to draw. Like I don't see myself drawing anymore. I don't see the motive of drawing in me like I do in the past times.

Whenever I try to draw now, I asked myself, what am I drawing for? What will I get? Who will be the viewer etc.

I don't have the motivation, I don't have the reason to draw anymore. All of this time, I draw for nothing. Why bother to draw?

Why should I?}

Oh well

2012-01-04T23:04:00.002+08:00

^{I've got nothing to say.}

Life has been... just like that.

Nothing epic happened.

Symptoms II will be on 3,4 and 5 February.

What else I should say?

I haven't been update anything much on this blog. I mean, why am I here, what to type about and all.

It's just... empty.

My life is.

All

2012-01-03T12:36:00.000+08:00

^{I hope everything will be alright.}

New day

2012-01-03T00:31:00.002+08:00

^{And today will be the start of University once again after a week of mid-term semester break, and I got the feeling the lecturer won't like my ugleh collage but oh what the hell =-=
I wanna sleep.}

You guys

2012-01-02T03:32:00.002+08:00

^{In case you guys are reading this. I want you guys to know.
1) I know my mistake, that I didn't get the permission before submitting it in.
2) That's why I put the original drawing, so that you guys can help me find the owner.
3) So that I can contact him/her to ask for permission.
4) Do you guys even know how long does it take to make a vector? Ever bother to try making one?
5) If vector disgusts you people, why are there vector in DeviantArt in the first place?
6) At least I didn't say I draw that. I told you guys I do not own the drawing. AT ALL.
7) And what did you guys do? Just flame me telling me to remove it and you guys report it whatsoever WITHOUT helping me to contact the rightful owner of the drawing.
8) Weird thing, it shows that even if I do get the permission, you guys would still say I stole it.
9) If I stole it, why didn't I just submit the real drawing there instead of the vector? Why such hardwork? (and well, why vector?)
10) And please, no cursing, harsh words whatsoever. I do not like arguments. Such civil discussion will cause havoc.
11) As if I'm the antagonist.
12) As if I can't draw.
13) Please know the difference between a vector and a drawing.
14) Tracing image isn't fun you know. I did it for assignment.
15) I was hoping you guys would reply nicely, helping me to contact the owner. Okay the person uses Pixiv, so I do not know how to contact the person.
16) And you guys still didn't help me.
17) I do not want to be angry.
18) You guys probably don't remember me at all now. If you do, then that's good.
19) We do not know each other alright. So, don't judge the book by it's cover. Respect each other.
20) Welcome to the internet. Where things get uncontrollable.}

New year

2012-01-01T17:51:00.002+08:00

^{And tomorrow I've to go back to University. And I still haven't done packing yet.
: l

No not lazy. I almost finish packing actually, just that I still have time and I'm home alone etc.

: l I wonder what to do now. I kinda doubt about my collage assignment, dayyum it looks ugly, right Shuu? XD

Oh wth.}

2012 cosplay plans

2011-12-30T23:23:00.003+08:00

^{Time flew too fast, and 2011 ends.
Honestly, I am not ready at all for the new year. I wish 2011 still goes on, I still have lots to do, just little time.

I realized that there's nothing much happened on 2011. I didn't actually went to many conventions, I hope I will next year. Just that I have to save my budget, and see if the time is really right for me to go, if I will be really free or not.

So here's my cosplay plan for next year (HONESTLY OAO):

[warning: spoiler]

1) Konatsu/Kuroyuri [07 Ghost] - I can't decide which to choose between them. If I were to be Konatsu then I've to wear platform, Kuroyuri suits my height, I am just waiting for the wig and I've to buy the lens for the character, hmmm.

2) Splendid [Happy Tree Friends] - I was suppose to do this this year 2011 but got delayed because got other cosplay invitations orz, I've still have to style the wig and cut the cloth for his mask (and probably the lens if necessary), the costume doesn't really matter. Honestly, there's no anime version of HTF, just the fan-made, so I'm not gonna wear the costume according to the fan-made version, just wear mine, I mean casual. As long as it fits the character.

3) Kotobuki Tsumugi Genderbend [K-ON] - :I Pants and necktie and lens left though. Oh and I'm gonna wear the normal school uniform, not like in the picture. LOL.

4) Yowane Haku [Daughter of White] - I haven't start on this one yet honestly, I got the offer to be her, but now, I really need to save up to make her costume especially, because she wants me to do the fan-made version, which the costume design looks hard to make. I wonder if it'll cost a fortune to make it :T she said she could provide the wig, so ~

5) Liechenstein [Axis Powers Hetalia] - I got the dress, just the shoes, white socks and the purple ribbon on her hair left. And I wonder if I should buy a new wig for this character (since her hair isn't that blonde, more like pale blonde) or improvise from mine :T

6) Kagamine Len Karakuri Burst version [Vocaloid] - Not sure if I'm gonna do this one actually, maybe yes maybe no. If yes, just the pants, the eyepatch, hat and lens left :I

I wonder if I left any of my other cosplay plans. Maybe not.}

Vector work

2011-12-29T18:20:00.004+08:00

^{And here's one of my assignments
This is the finishI made it yesterday though and finish today. But it was a PAIN IN THE ASS DX wuuuuuuu

Here's the original artwork, made by Jyro-chan:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/lisa93/1248195569366jyro-chan.jpg

But I couldn't find this drawing on the internet anymore, idk why :'(}

Rest

2011-12-26T22:39:00.002+08:00

^{And I still haven't done my assignments yet. Not even one yet. I should force myself to do it tomorrow.
So first thing tomorrow in the morning when I wake up, though I think I would wake up at noon LOL, is to take my shower and then go have breakfast. Then I will wash my clothes, in the meantime, maybe I should start with something more simpler with the assignments, maybe the markers, or the collage.

Wait, so here's the list of my assignments:
1) Logo design, sketch logos, develop more logos :3
2) Collage, fantasy landscape, I bought the stuffs, just need to do it now.
3) Tracing. Unfortunately, my tracing work is in my pendrive which is with the CS110 kid and she happens to not know using emails. *sigh* well I have to do a new one.
4) Illustrations. 4 objects; 2 nature, 2 man-made. 2 posing figures (full figure I guess), 2 portraits. All in markers, A3 papers. OTL this one sounds lots but oh what the hell.

I wonder if I left anything else?

Oh what the hell. I'm gonna keep this as a note for a while. Tomorrow I will start with... Maybe the illustrations, I need to practice with my markers LOL.

Must determine.}

I wish

2011-12-26T19:17:00.001+08:00

^{That I have the chance to breathe.}

Everything

2011-12-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

^{I asked myself till these days whether my appearance changes anything in this life. The unexpected things was that it changed when I least expected it and didn't change at all when I expect it most.
The changes. That certain changes, I don't want it to change. I like it the way it used to be. No, not that I hate it the way it is now, at least I know that I have you to love, but the way the life used to be, I wish it won't change.

But it did, and it's all because of my actions. If only I never done it, life would still be the same. Life would still be the way it is. I feel like a barrier. I think I change stuffs too much, what have I done. I wish I can undo this. But I know, life can't be reversed. I have to face it, I have to deal with it. Well, that's life for me, I get back from it. Life just got back it's revenge onto me. It want me to learn the lesson. And so I did, but then it will never stop.

Never will it stop stomping on me, trampling on me. Telling me that I should have never done it.

He told me that I really look like a normal girl, just that what makes me extraordinary is that I have a distorted mind, I have a grotesque imagination and most of the time, have a violent-orientate dream. I didn't quite get what he meant by that, and he told me to colour on this lineart drawing. It was an image of a house with gardens and there are skies and all.

I took the red colour pencil and coloured all.

I gave him the lineart, he held it, and was staring at it for a long time. I wouldn't know what he was thinking. For once, I forgot why was I there in the first place.

"At least you aren't that brave enough, right?" He asked.

Somehow, I found that right, not too much offensive, he didn't mean any offense right? When I think back, I am a coward. Though I wonder what makes him say that.

"The pressure you've put, the space you provided. You wouldn't want to hurt someone you love so dearly."

Okay wait, how does he knows so? Then I gave myself a knock on my head, of course he would know, psychotherapist would know such things, human stuffs and all.

"So, who's the lucky one?"

And I think there's a hammer knocking my head.

^Well back then I would have said nothing, right?

But I don't know why I said something like (of course it's not accurate, the whole conversation's dialog, not accurate, because I'm just trying to remember, so it's nearly like this):

"No one in particular, but one day I will find him, I don't care if he has to know the real me, everything about me. But I assure you, I will find that someone in a million. I don't care if I have to put everything behind after I have found him. I may be a coward, but I want to protect that someone. I don't want to live this kind of life anymore."

He adjusted his specs, in my eyes, that action actually entertains me, as if you're talking to a philosopher, which makes me wonder how old is he actually, he acts older than his physical I would say.

"Coward, but brave inside." He said "Loyalty is the best answer when you're losing your faith. Gain trust, and you will find your path."

Honestly, I always don't understand what he's talking about, come on, I was fourteen.

I guess old people have experience, of course they do. And I wonder if I have enough to protect what's mine. I don't wanna lose anything. I am sure no one wants to. And yet somehow somewhat I am destroying my property. I wonder how long will it take for me to find out the hidden message in all those advices I've received. I am on my own now, I have to survive on my own. I rely on people too much, I have to face this world on my own now.

I swore that I would live, after all that everything that happened. I would not look at it, though it still hurts.

Just the same if someone hits you, seconds after, it's past. But it still hurts.

Past hurts.}

It is

2011-12-25T15:12:00.001+08:00

^{Christmas for the Christians, and I am here ill.}

:'T

2011-12-24T13:44:00.001+08:00

^{I just vomited before lunch, and after I ate lunch I took my medicines.

Oh great, more medicines.}

:(

2011-12-23T12:32:00.002+08:00

^{I am having a fever, sore throat, flu and asthma at the same time. So painful.
And holiday is starting, just that I still got assignments to do. And I was thinking of photoshoot but then we have to get things arranged.

Honestly I still haven't pack my stuffs to go back home yet. I feel so tired and with my condition that I'm not feeling well and all and I just got back from class, I feel more like resting than packing up. But I don't want to keep mum waiting later, who knows when she will be here, imagine she suddenly call saying she's almost here wtf.

And I still haven't clean up my place. No I am not feeling lazy and all I am just not well. I can barely breathe properly and my head feels hot.

I wish I can sleep first then only start to do stuffs.

And I wish I can draw more.}

Changing

2011-12-21T22:31:00.001+08:00

^{1) Everyone that I know, they're getting famous.2) I have ulcer and sore throat, which is so painful.
3) No one's listening to my problem(s) now.
4) No one's on my side now.
5) The world is turning its back on me.
6) I am blamed for everything.
7) Memories strike back.
8) I am mute temporarily.
9) I wish I have a shoulder to cry on.
10) Sinful me.
11) Terrible day coming soon.
12) Everything I do is always wrong in people's eyes.
13) I really wish... I have someone to talk to.}

Comic Fiesta 2011 report

2011-12-19T11:27:00.002+08:00

I slept over with Haruhi and her friends C: at Tune Hotel. I actually arrived in KL at 5pm but then I only get to met her around almost 12am because she was from Sabah coming over, and Alexander came with her taking me, he's the one drove us to the hotel.

Skip of story, I met her friends, and even Serena C: and we got ourselves ready for tomorrow's event.

We woke up at 6-7am and wore everything at the hotel, our costumes, make ups and stuffs, and we went there at about 8am. I think. I took the mock-up ticket for me and and I got it for both days.

Well on first day Shuu and I was cosplaying as Helios Eclipse, from our local manga made by the honourable Kaoru-sama :3

Honestly, I don't have anything much to say about day one.

Because I think everyone got fed-up with the KLCC management. The CF management was fine, but the KLCC management was too strict, so there's a lot of drama going on and it's pretty hard to get on Hall 5. So most of us actually could agree that Hall 4 is more happening than Hall 5, minus the booth and stage performance etc, we walk around and take pictures with cosplayers in Hall 4, and did lots of random stuffs; planking trolling etc.

So that's the end of day one, because I didn't really get to get in Hall 5, but only to watch the performance by Yumi, Lyanne, Tasya, Aria and Farah, their band called Marshmallow Panic :'D It was awesome I tell you (here's their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marshmallow-Panic/209393952459872 you can see their performance in the page too <3)

Skip :'D

On the second day, Shuu and me was doing Kuroshitsuji, I was doing Sebastian Michaelis and he did Drocell >D And we were in our own group of Kuroshitsuji 8D and we have LOTS of Ciel <3 so we're pretty much has a CIEL HAREM <3 and including me, we have 3 bling bling Sebastian XDDD but the one with us is 16, and he's the tallest Sebastian, like seriously very tall D8 ARG.

And we did our very own group photoshoot with the honourable Red Dot Photography O u O <3 (the page: https://www.facebook.com/RedDotPhotog)

<3 Well, overall it was really fun, and I COD all of my stuffs already :'D and they are PERFECT for next year cosplays.

I love you guys.

~~P.S: Don't ask me for pictures~~

COMIC FIESTA 2011 IS TOMORROW

2011-12-15T02:08:00.002+08:00

^{FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU TOMORROW IS COMIC FIESTA 2011 OAO}

Have fun guys 8D looking forward to meet everyone there. Good news here. I found my Helios costume back, which means I can use the cape. But the bad news is that the cape actually isn't ready yet, I don't have any scissors to cut it, you know, to make it look shredded. And I didn't bring my camera orz, it's at home. And I'm gonna stay at hotel with Haruhi, she'll be here from Sabah. T: I've arrived, but she's not here yet. I wonder what take the flight so long orz.

And I might be buying chocolates for people I know, well for now I think I will be giving it to lots of people. :D I can't wait for CF, hahaha my budget *sobs*

And orz I forgot to buy the ticket home to UITM. I hope there will still be tickets, because I'm at the upper floor and the ticket counter is at the lower floor and I'm so lazy orz to get down there, because I got a big bag with me orz and I just put it down...

MMMM.

See you at COMIC FIESTA 2011 tomorrow 8D <3

My OCs and me

2011-12-14T02:17:00.004+08:00

^{I got lots of OCs, yeah (OC means original character) but I have about top3 that I love :3 (for now) because they represents myself.

1) Thorn Maiden
Nowadays I draw her a lot. She actually represents myself, one and only OC that looks exactly like me, her hair, her costume etc. And her personality, she's quiet, rarely and seldom talks and emotionless, explains why I never draw any expression on her face. Shows so much just like how I were in my past. Yeps, dark past, that's why she is the mythical creature, thorn maiden. You know, thorns hurt (but I didn't do so to her XD), and there are three phases (uh forms) of the thorns but I never mention it yet. But believe me, you don't want to know about my past. Her name has been kept unknown. (honestly because I don't know what to call her and her title the thorn maiden sounds awesome though)

2) Leftenant L.
Ironic. That's my Facebook name, yeah she is inspired by the name, so I just took it. Her name is Lovisa Wanderer. She represents more of my tsundere side. Well, honestly, I don't know how to show my love towards people, I am quite an egoistic person but yes I do care from the inside. People said I get mad easily, depends really, but yes sometimes I am strict. Lovisa is my strict and anger mode, that's why I made a soldier character for her, suits her well. And the Leftenant rank? That's just random lol.

3) Yumiko Ichijo.
I got this name from a random website when I was 12, thus I used it for this character. Yumiko was actually my first OC I've ever made. And she represents my LAZY side, and her lack of knowledge of a general world (she likes to eat btw). Yes she is very lazy, likes to sleep actually. And whenever I draw a chibi her, she looks a lot like Mashimaro (and sometimes I will draw a Mashimaro hat on her head). Her expressions shows a lot of in between the Thorn Maiden and Lovisa. Sometimes she's emotionless, sometimes she's emotional. Kuudere, kind of. Yes, appears to be cruel but she cares a lot.

LOL for the changes of my drawings. Yumiko drawing was my old drawing, the Leftenant was my last year, and the Thorn Maiden drawing is the latest. What kind of improvement was that?}

Comic Fiesta 2011 in 4 days more

2011-12-13T13:16:00.003+08:00

^{Yes the title says it all. I can't wait. Luckily got no important activity(s) for this week, so yes I am going back to KL to celebrate CF11, the biggest expo in Malaysia that is celebrated once a week.
I'll be going to KL this Friday, will arrive at early evening and make my way to the Tune Hotel. Will meet Haruhi and her sister. I bought the bus ticket already for this Friday already but I'm actually not sure where to wait, UITM or Alor Gajah, because I told him I wait at UITM but at the ticket wrote Alor Gajah. Uh so.... :I (and I didn't think of asked him OTL) oh well. I guess I can wait anywhere I want, lol. Because bus will pass both UITM and Alor Gajah... I hope they will this time. T:

Since CF is Malaysia's biggest event, there's ticket fees too at RM15 per day at the event itself, it may sound expensive (a bit) but it's worth it for me. But I bought the ticket earlier for RM25 for both days. Yep I bought it early, so the price wasn't that expensive :'D

Will meet a lot of people this weekend, Shuu, Neko, Shasha Neko, Yumi, Len, Tasya, Suzu, Farah, Atin, Khairie etc. etc. Well yes I can't wait to meet my twin sister, Suzu-nyan ~ And Shuu too especially 8'D <3

I will come both days and cosplay on both days. And I wanted to see Marshmallow Panic performance on stage too, I'm rooting for you guys 8D

But yes, there's always disadvantage when the event comes near:
1) I think I left my Helios costume and my chestbinder back at home. It means I've to use a backup costume and chestbinder too.
2) Left my makeup ; - ; especially the eyebrow liner. Maybe I should buy it when I get to KL but just afraid it will be expensive orz.
3) And again, left my Gatsby hairspray and hairgel too orz. Again, maybe should buy but will be expensive OTL
4) MONEY ; U ; MUEHEHEHE
5) I... didn't bring my DSLR OTL

Weird right? When the event is near I am too stupid to have left everything at home, especially the Helios costume and the chestbinder. Last time I wore them during the GempakStarz event, I thought I brought it back here, but then I realized it was missing. Means if I'm using the backup costume then I won't be using the cape that was suppose to go together with the missing costume.

Don't ask me why won't I just go back home and pick it up. Because I reckon that my dad will ask me about my PT money, if he knows I'm gonna stay at a hotel orz.

Oh well nevermind that. I'll just use the backup costume and the makeups and stuffs I will try to buy, if I have enough money XD

Will meet you there at COMIC FIESTA 2011 <3}

Used to

2011-12-11T22:25:00.002+08:00

^{I used to tell myself that the world would be a better place if I just keep smiling and being an optimist. But it seems like the world has turn over me. It pushes me down till I could no longer see my strength. Which what was once I used to fight the darkness with.
I wanted to make everyone happy equally, that's what I've always wanted to do. I don't care about myself, not sure how the world sees me though. Perhaps it sees me as a cruel creature, maybe that's why the world despise me so much.

To the world I may be something, but to me I mean nothing. I want to make people happy, but I'm the saddest person in the world. Well, I don't appear so in people's eyes. No one knows me.}

Nothing

2011-12-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

^{Nothing to read. Again.}

The End.

2011-12-11T03:30:00.000+08:00

^{The title says it all.}

COMIC FIESTA 2011 STAGE HIGHLIGHTS

2011-12-09T14:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0BD5kSzeS4

Oh well

2011-12-07T18:55:00.003+08:00

^{Seriously, one of these days, I really don't know what to type in my own blog. And I actually wonder who the heck would read it anyway.
Because I've been on BlogSpot since January 2008, that's like three years ago. And I got almost 20k views now :'< Wonder who is actually stalking reading this crappy blog.

Seriously, all I ever type here is just craps and randoms and most of the time just about my life and sometimes I just type short, so short. And I noticed, this month just started, and I got almost 400 views now.

Orz what is happening really? I don't really expect for this blog to get that much views or whatsoever.

psh.

Comic Fiesta 2011 is near, and I don't care anymore about University stuffs, if they have event on that very particular day, I just skip it and go to CF already. I have stuffs to COD, to pay and the hotel fees some more. I planned all of this since the starting of this year, I can't just simply cancel all that and not going, that will actually be a WASTE of my money, and all of the money I've spent for the CODs and the hotels etc.

And there's still two people who haven't pay their debts to me.}

Assignments

2011-12-05T11:29:00.002+08:00

^{Lots of it now in just two weeks of the first start.
I've to work hard for it and I hope I'll make it. Sorry if I didn't really type in this blog, but I will. But maybe just short. I know people actually don't like to read long-typing blog. LOL.}

I...

2011-12-04T19:54:00.001+08:00

.......... There's nothing to read here.

Trivia #3

2011-12-04T11:14:00.001+08:00

^{I may look tall in the internet, but the truth is that I am short.}

Trivia #2

2011-12-03T10:06:00.001+08:00

^{I have a phobia of being on road (highways etc) when I'm in a moving vehicle especially. Phobia of accidents.}

Trivia #1

2011-12-02T23:57:00.001+08:00

^{I cry easily, even if it's a very simple arguement.}

455

2011-12-01T19:04:00.002+08:00

^{And it is the 1st December of 2011, we're almost entering 2012. And we just have 2 weeks left until the biggest expo in Malaysia; Comic Fiesta 2011.
Dramas could be seen everywhere when CF is near, props, costumes, wigs, boots, shoes etc., all of those, problems. Not enough time to make, too late to arrive etc.

I hope all will go well until CF comes.

Yumi insists me to go home with her this week. ASSIGNMENTS. MUST. DO.

OTL

Dear December, please be nice.}

454 - random

2011-11-29T23:27:00.003+08:00

^{I wonder how long has it been since the last time I touched my previous lives that's full of weird stuffs.
Meh too long already.

And I should be sleeping already. I have a morning class to be honest. But somehow, the night is where my mind is most... active.

I always have this visions (like a trailer) where an OC of mine (usually the Thorn Maiden or The Leftenant) making the hush signal, but saying "Once upon a time" (without them saying, you know, just the audio I mean), but with a Japanese voice (I wonder why) and in a very low tone. Then the trailer goes on, after this, it's actually just random but I imagine the audio changed to more epic songs. Usually the trailer will go on, telling a little bit of her life, then there comes the (hero?) going curious about everything.

Yeah my mind is pretty random.}

453

2011-11-29T11:32:00.002+08:00

^{A few hours before class starts.
I went home on last Friday because we have a 3 days of holiday. I have 2 reasons why I came home, I left my stuffs and I wanted to go to the 100% GempakStarz.

Though I only went for a day though.

I met lots of people there, but my main reason was to met Shuu. Wasn't really cosplaying but I do look like Kaito BRS. I would say that it's not a big festival, it's simple and nice to stroll around to have a good look at good things, because even the Artists from GempakStarz were there. The cosplay competition and stuffs only happened on day one, maybe that's why I was only there for one day.

It was crowded though. I wonder if TACG has the same number of people coming. From what I heard TACG is horrible. the way they manage the event and so on.

Oh well.

The day after I went to the art shop at midvalley with Redha, I bought copics instead of prisma, because they don't have it there, and they also don't have berol pen orz. Why is it so hard to find? Even at Melaka there aren't any of those markers and stuffs we wanted to buy.

And there goes my RM322.

Nothing, my money just went to a waste for the suppose-to-be-Helios-wig ;_; -sobs-

And the other posts are late too, the uniforms and the jacket. Just because of the holidays. No story of the jacket yet, waiting for them to reply.

Em, tired. Later got the illustration class, I hope we will survive.}

452

2011-11-25T23:53:00.003+08:00

^{There's a three days of holiday that's available now.
But have to use the day wisely. Have to buy all the markers etc. before next Tuesday supposedly. And I am pretty sure all of us will be in a great pressure for this semester mostly because of Graphic Communication II subject orz. And most of our money will go to the art stuffs, so yeah.

And tomorrow's event would be 100% GempakStarz, its actually not much of an event and I've no idea if I should cosplay, since the competition is only on day one (and I never participate in this one though because I'm not that good, yeah) but I was thinking to only wear a wig, and the funny thing is that I only bring the black usual wig, and I thought I should give it a try tomorrow.

And in the mean time, I should try check out art stuffs somewhere, which I know is midvalley but would be a bit far for the moment. Senpai said there are such stuffs at Chow Kit but I don't have any memories stepping my foot in that place.

But anyway, I still have to get my hands on the markers, just a grayscale prisma set and berol pen for now... I think. :'T orz yeah I feel so nervous like what if I can't get my hands on those things orz but oh well I still have to, if not, doom awaits me, because our lecturer wants it to be done next week. And get started too.

Will be in so much pressure, I hope I can follow this, all of this subject, finish all assignments and pass with bling bling colours (bak kata Space-sama :D) with NO, totally NO repeat subjects.

But especially the PTPTN money. They took RM500 from RM2500 (they said it should be RM450 but oh what the hell, it passed already), leaving me RM2000 only. The people from the KHR group paid me my RM450 but I have to use the RM450 completely for CF day 1. There are another 2 person that owes me money and I should get back my RM170. Is it just me or is that people always owe me money? And a lot of it? Well I owe people money too but not much. I paid Syd her RM20 and I owe Yun RM7 and I think (if I remember) I owe my little sister RM10. Not as much as people owe me.

I won't type my budget here because it would be a confusion, I just write everything, jot down in my DMW little book. It's like a mini book where I scribble and doodle and take notes in it, just about everything I do in it. I know money revolves around the world (or is it the other way round? I don't really get it XD) and now I've no other choice but to get involve in it. I have to handle money when I enter business world later.

Right.

So I'm pretty much desperate on saving the money (explains so much why I owe Yun RM7 because it's actually for food WTF), yes I'm not a shop-a-holic or something, and I don't buy thing recklessly, which is an advantage.

And I hope I will keep myself that way.}

451 - Exploitation in cosplay

2011-11-23T23:03:00.003+08:00

^{[Warning, bad english]
Ever since the case where Jun opened about the Roger Ong's photography (Cruiser's Photography) about modelling in a stewardess saying as cosplay, all of us are trying our best not to let people exploit the cosplay community, wearing a costume isn't a cosplay. IS. NOT.

But then there's another one, about 'cosplaying' Rukia, with lots of photographers. Well the 'discussions' has gone into a forum thread, but then it got out of control, because they were expecting stuffs about the cosplay community organizer(s) so they would have someone to sue later, but then, it's a non-existing government body. So basically they can't do so.

And now about TAGC 2011.

The organizer had a problem, and wanted a cosplayers to come to their event. And us cosplayers don't wanna come because the organizer would get money when we come there, it's like using up our efforts and they gain money and we will have none.

Thomas and Junji are trying very hard to protect this community of cosplayers. I salute them, I just most of the time watch and learn from their statements.

And I am pretty sure, it's not just this that bothers. There are lots of other 'events' that will bother us in the future. And trolling really isn't my thing. So I can just sit and read everything and learn what's really in there inside this cosplay community.

Serious business.

Good job guys. I salute you all that's trying to protect cosplay :) I'm not as good as you all but I am improving and still trying to, year by year.

Till then.}

: l

2011-11-23T07:34:00.002+08:00

^{Will be busy now.
Prisma marker, have to buy ;_; *sobs*}

Future budget

2011-11-20T23:33:00.001+08:00

^{RM200+RM60+RM60+RM90+RM90=RM500

Budget does not include food/transport/etc

That's a budget for CF2011 approximately. All to be done in CF day 1. Only one of the RM90 above I will settle it by perhaps this Tuesday.

I make it sounds like debt, haha. So if you cut out rm90, I have to bring RM410 during CF.
Just a little but unfortunate that I have to use another RM50 PTPTN, I hope that won't affect much. Since they've returned my RM450, I guess I'm saved from using too much of PT money :T

Have to save.

I actually might need to buy a lens for Helios cosplay T: but then it'll be a little over my budget (considering it's a little over already that I've to take RM50 from PT, and also money for food/transport etc) because the price might be RM35.

Or maybe I don't have to wear it XD

; - ; Well, I will consider about the lens, just that left.}

Future budget

2011-11-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

^{RM200+RM60+RM60+RM90+RM90=RM500

Budget does not include food/transport/etc

That's a budget for CF2011 approximately. All to be done in CF day 1. Only on of the RM90 above I will settle it by perhaps this Tuesday.

I make it sounds like debt, haha. So if you cut out rm90, I have to bring RM410 during CF.
Just a little but unfortunate that I have to use another RM50 PTPTN, I hope that won't affect much. Since they've returned my RM450, I guess I'm saved from using too much of PT money :T

Have to save.

I actually might need to buy a lens for Helios cosplay T: but then it'll be a little over my budget (considering it's a little over already that I've to take RM50 from PT) because the price might be RM35.

Or maybe I don't have to wear it XD

; - ; Well, I will consider about the lens, just that left.}

447

2011-11-18T16:27:00.001+08:00

Q__________________________Q

__________

2011-11-17T21:26:00.004+08:00

This....

Has no respect.

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=256742674377015

Not only misunderstand the term of cosplay, but the person actually speak so rude and swear words, is it wrong to tell?

Wrong to be clear that the person is using 'cosplay' in a wrong way?

Oh wow, what big mouth.

see here more easy

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=264964476888168&id=256742674377015&notif_t=feed_comment_reply

Just read everything there, I'm too tired to type.

Passed 444

2011-11-16T19:11:00.004+08:00

^{That's it.I'm going back UITM in three days.

And I still haven't pack my stuffs, Idk what to pack, other than the stuffs I've had here. Because to be honest, I'm not sure if I actually took the stuffs out of the bag, other than personal stuffs, drawing stuffs etc.

And perhaps I'll pack tonight, have to wash clothes before go.

:/

Remember what my cosplay plan for next year (2012)? I wanted to be the story of evil Kagamine Rin (google it under daughter of evil), because of the dress that caught my attention really :/

But suddenly there's this girl, uh idk what to call her yet, she wants a group for story of evil. I told her I wanted to be Kagamine Rin in that version next year, but she said she wants to be her. She told me she's looking for Miku and Kaito and Haku for it. I don't know how does Haku looks like in story of evil, and I asked her for pictures, and she wants me to be Haku instead.}^{drawing by: http://hisekai.deviantart.com

When I saw this, I went "DAYYUM!". It's like "WHY SO PRETTAAYYY??!! QAQ" and yeah, actually I've fallen for it already -.- I agreed that I'll be Haku for her, she said it's for anicom and AFA. When I saw the word AFA, I went excited. I really really really want to go for AFA for a long time, and with this, I might be going next year. Well, I promised myself I would.

Means I've to save budget, lots, for the costume and to go to Singapore, LOOONG journey. She said she can lend the wig, just the costume wants to find tailor, perhaps later I should tell her about Mikano or Misaki :'3 well and that's if they're not that busy. Because local tailor would charge it so expensive that's why.

She said she wants to do it for competition on Anicom, but I remember Anicom is like... Chinese ._. Well sure English too, but they speak Chinese most of the time, I hope I'll get comfy and get along pretty well. Luckily Haku is a minor character I think, and her character won't be that big. :) So I don't really have to worry about her role.

Just the costume. I'm scared Mikano and Misaki would be busy for the other's costume, and in the picture didn't show the costume full, front back side etc. So I wonder how would she handle it really. But really, Haku's version was the Daughter of White, and I'm sure there's a full costume of it shown on the net because there's people been cosplaying that.

*search* well, yeah, there's only one picture of the cosplay, and the costume actually is designed. So besically it's not official. It's an original design from HIsekai.

Perhaps should just ask from HIsekai him/herself about the design and give a full sheet of it :/

.......... A year, more busy :'< Can't believe I got this offer, so I've to pull back the budget for Rin and use it for Haku instead. I wish the price won't get too far.

Busy busy busy.}

orz

2011-11-16T02:57:00.002+08:00

^{It's three in the morning, and I will sleep after this.
I still haven't pack my stuff to go back to college, perhaps I will go back on Saturday.

Not much to be type here.

Nothing much happened really.

Just went out for a while to accompany my little sister.

I think I know why I am typing like this, because I am sleepy. But semester 2 is going to start, so I have to brace myself.

Unpredictable future. Unpredictable me :)}

Good and bad

2011-11-15T01:15:00.002+08:00

^{I know I can't be a good girl, and I don't really like certain types of good girls.
Because I don't want people to see me as weak and would take advantage on me. Because to be honest, I was raised like this. I was raised in a world where I wish I could get out from it. I know the black hole can never be erased, thus I was brought till now the very harsh old self of me.

Sometimes (most of the times, really) I would suddenly get angry. If I am trying to control my anger, I will force myself to say things nicely but at the same time I couldn't help myself but letting out the sarcastic tone in my voice.

I know, I tried to change, but somehow that attitude is just there, that attitude is me myself. I took it in me that I am not like any other nice girls, most of the time I take things too lightly, one of the habit from the past that I brought till now. And sometimes it's hard for me to pay attention to one's feelings and situation, and that I don't care what will happen for the time being, that I care too much not to.

Somehow, I think I'm just babbling.

Yeah I know, people dislike me for this. I am not nice like them. Whenever there's a nice girl, I feel challenged, like I can't be like them. Though I know I don't care if people would hate me (see I take things too lightly and don't even care if they wanna kill me whatnot) but for once, I want to take care of someone's feelings, I want to be nice for the person, but whenever I tried to, things would just go wrong.

I really can't be that feminine.

I can't be like any other normal girls. I dislike them, I will dislike myself, I will fool and cheat and lie to myself. I won't be who I used to be, I will forget the real me. I will be someone I do not know.

I guess that's because humans want someone to be so perfect they forgot they aren't perfect themselves that no humans are perfect either.

No, I can't be perfect. Though you may complain, I at least tried. You can't please everyone at the same time. There won't be any flawless result.

Like I said, I don't like nice girls (it depends actually. You don't like a girl like me, right?) because I will sense rivalry. As if they're showing me that they're better than me in every way. I wonder if you could actually call that envy? Because I can't be like that.

And I was thinking, "what makes me special is me. Everyone is different that everyone." Like I shouldn't think too much and just be me. I wish, you could just accept me for who I am, for who I was.}

Home and whatever orz

2011-11-14T00:56:00.003+08:00

^{So I got home safely from Johor, it was about more than 5 hours journey, because we stopped at jejantas Ayer Keroh and there's a jam, probably people going home from 'kampung' lol.
I knew dad is the best driver, he always drives so fast. Berderau darah aku. It was too fast and yeah I'm kinda trauma from the last accident haha XD takut woo.

Oh what the hell, I went to the beach and got my left leg injured :/ And I didn't put any bandage or plasters till now, kinda left it just like that but I don't mind the pain, the bruise looks cute btw, lol. Yeah seriously, I guess water isn't my best friend, and it doesn't like me either =-=

I realized I didn't bring along my IC till I got home ._.

Okay, I know there's not much to say. I didn't online much because it's hard to find internet there, I know I have broadband but it's hard to find connection, lines too..uh orz. So only now I can. Home Sweet home. And my phone died so many times. Phone osm memang camni eh?

Annnnnddd... I still haven't receive my Helios wig TxT she gave me the tracking number already but then I can't track the number. She gave it last Thursday, till now I still haven't received it? She lives in KL only FGS.

OTZ I don't have much time left. I've got to have the wig then CF plans done already. The money they should pay me can wait, since I know they will pay not only to me but to the others too.

Budget for CF2011:
RM200 + RM45 + RM45 + RM60 = 350 (Shall bring this total to CF2011)

Budget for future cosplay....?:
RM100 (to be done tomorrow) + rm90 (to be done on 20+ November) = rm190

^___^ And that's just how I kept my money organized. Oh so the total is RM540, and perhaps that shall be the last time I spend on cosplay and.... I shall start to be on hiatus on cosplay and focus mainly on photoshoots, it would be a waste of money if there aren't any memories on it.

I wonder what am I babbling about.}

Good morning

2011-11-11T09:10:00.001+08:00

^{Going to Johor today :') Have a good morning and a great day.}

20111111

2011-11-10T23:44:00.001+08:00

^{Nice date, on Friday.

1) 15 minutes left to this date.
2) This date will go back Johor, for holiday maybe.
3) I am packing right now.
4) Wig might come at this date.
5) If I won't be available at this date then I've to pick up on Monday.
6) Still waiting for my money.
7) Typed this only in a minute.}

Uh

2011-11-10T15:05:00.002+08:00

^{My platform boots arrived this afternoon. =-= I think my wig will arrive tomorrow though. Then I can rest in peace a bit.
And I wonder where's my money they're supposed to give back? I need to use it ASAP. I guess with that money it'll be my last time spending on costumes =-= and I won't buy any for God knows how long.}

Lots of stuffs, kinda.

2011-11-09T23:16:00.002+08:00

^{1) Still can't check the college status.
2) This guys still haven't pay me back my RM450.
3) I need to use that money for costumes reservation already.
4) This weekend have to go to Johor.
5) I wonder where's my wig, why haven't you send it yet?
6) Broke... OTZ}

Ayanami-sama

2011-11-09T12:59:00.004+08:00

^{Ayanami-sama is ambidextrous, awesome, because he uses Zaiphon on his right hand and left hand for his sword.

But actually, this character reminds me of my OC, General K. Winterfrost XD Because of how they look like, their characteristics and their position as the main antagonist XD ahahhah How coincidence is that?

Well I like every characters in 07 Ghost, I like my OC General K. too. Which he look alike like Ayanami-sama XD

Yup, as I said, he is the main antagonist of the anime 07 Ghost.

“I must protect this country. I will protect it no matter what I'll become.”—Ayanami, expressing his thoughts on Barsburg.

This phrase is so awesome o u o his motto is "Justice without power is vain." Yeay awesome one too XD

Again, what I like about him is that he's so awesome and he uses rapier too, you know, just the same like Lefty and Gen K. wear it.

Judging from him using his rapier, we all would know that he is very skillful on using it, apart from his subordinates.

Yup, mostly shown that he uses his rapier on his left hand XD it looks coolio ~

Somehow I think he does care for his subordinates, even though he is the main antagonist. I don't think he is that selfish (apart from what he did to Mikage and what he wants from Teito) because he doesn't work alone and always with his subordinates.

Though it shows how cruel he is in the anime, he has a heart too upon them lol XD

Syd asked, why this anime are like guys only? I said there are girls too but the main goes only to guys, they girls aren't that important, lol.

Seriously, people think it's a yaoi anime, haha I bet they even make a doujin on it. :3 I don't like it because of yaoi, considering the anime isn't about yaoi. It's about more to friendship, maybe that's why it looks a bit yaoi-ish? XD

The episode ends on 25, but if I'm not mistaken the manga is longer (on-going is it?) and they said they enjoy the manga more because the story is on-going, unlike the anime it's 'stucked', the same like Pandora Hearts and Air Gear, where you just wish so much for season two. :'(

Well I wish these animes will have season 2, I really am curious. And no I'm no manga-reader -.-}

Nothing much

2011-11-08T17:09:00.003+08:00

^{Yes I know I rarely watch anime, but I'm currently watching 07 Ghost, it's actually because of there's few people selling their uniform. The uniform looks cool and I never heard of 07 Ghost, so it's actually not a popular anime.
But I kinda have the feeling it will be popular one day. Considering that it's not a new anime actually, it's like 2 years ago if I'm not mistaken. It's not that popular because you don't really see people cosplaying them (I'd really like to cosplay Konatsu Warren >//u//< though he's actually a minor protagonist) and yeah, I wouldn't say it's a great anime, but if you want a simple one it's good to see this one :3 besides, Yun was one of the reasons I watch it too, she's been saying about 07 Ghost in college and keep telling me to watch it.

But of course, usually people persuading me won't work, I would just say "lazy", because yeah, you know, I'm not an otaku and I rather cosplay than watching anime (weird huh?). I only watch anime when I feel like there's an interesting character I like to cosplay in the anime.

First, I saw a costume first, if the costume is awesome and I like it, I will google to find what character wear those. Then from the character I google the anime. After that I google about the character and read it (mostly from the anime's wiki), I usually read their personality and eye colour and height etc. When I think it suits me (in a way), I start to watch the anime, to understand more about the character.

Oh wow, that really took something for me to watch anime, huh? Except for the Lal Mirch which I've done with Shuu last year, I never watch KHR yet, I don't really google her character and such. It was actually Suzu, getting all obsessed with KHR and keep telling me stories and said I should be Lal, and eventually tell me who's Lal and all. It's just based from her mouth really and I cosplayed her. Yeah somehow KHR doesn't really get to my attention. I don't really like to watch LOOOOOONG episodes of anime (eg: Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, etc.) because eventually I'll lost it. I never watch Bleach and One Piece but I've watched Naruto and got lost till episode 200+ OTL.

And to think of it, I never intend to cosplay any of the characters from Naruto, I don't know, none of the characters are like me (I think) or we just don't have the aura for each other. Haha XD

But seriously, I watch 07 Ghost because of how attracted I was to the uniform, ah I can't wait to get it. Then I can lay my hands on the BlackHawk uniform ggggrrrraaaahhhhhh >A< (fangasm much?).

Well, better get a cosplay group of it XD}

Let's talk

2011-11-07T11:58:00.002+08:00

^{about OC cosplay.
And suddenly they disagree that cosplaying OC isn't a cosplay. Because that cosplay is meant for existing fiction characters.

But, in my humble opinion, I would love to disagree that, and according you wiki:

"Cosplay (コスプレ kosupure^?), short for "costume play",^[1] is a type of performance art in which participants don costumes and accessories to represent a specific character or idea."

Basically, I disagree because cosplay stands for costume play, and people does it based on a character, so why not an idea of their own? I know OC and visual kei and anime character is the same, but see, you guys also accept stories from the westerns, why don't you guys say cosplay is only for Japanese anime/manga/games/etc that it belongs to asians?

OC means original character. And I wonder what's wrong with cosplaying that. They are playing a role of their own character.

But I understand your feelings that you said OC is not cosplay because:
1) People don't recognize when they're cosplaying OC, unless their OC is very famous.
2) OC is not an official character, thus, like the above, people won't recognize.
3) Some OC is very simple and easy to do, and some are created based on the creator him/herself, so it's basically coming to an expo cosplaying as themselves.
4) OC is self-made, and would refer closely to a Halloween party, because of how they celebrate it wearing a costume too.
5) Most of them see cosplay originated to be meant for a known fictional characters either it came from Japan, westerns etc.

In my humble opinion, it won't hurt to advice them to cosplay properly or to improve on their cosplay, guide them on how to be a better cosplayer, I'm on no one's side, I do cosplay too, but I don't prefer to judge people.}

Ohai

2011-11-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

^{Nothing much to say here.
I want to remind myself not to spend too much money.

And TBH, there's 3 upcoming costumes I might just buy =_=

Omg what is happening to me? Why am I spending too much? *y-u-no*

Oh, it's because the price is cheap that's why -.-

Sorry for not able to update much, no not busy. I kinda lost inspiration.}

Home

2011-11-06T02:42:00.002+08:00

^{When I got home, I realized that what can I do now is to live on.I got something in front of me, something that will bring me to my future. I know that I can't do anything about my past. It can't be revive.

I can only learn from it.

So I actually set up my mind. I wanna love shuu more than ever~ I wanna love shuu more than I love myself. I'm gonna close the previous book and open a new one. This would be the last time I remember it.

I want to make him happy, I want to be a good woman for him, I want him to be in heaven. I want him to love me.

And just when I'm about to do the mission,

shit happened.

And you actually delete my wall post... It's actually just the same like telling me you don't love me, indirectly.

It's like you're telling me I am your drug because I am ruining your life...

....I can't be your perfect woman...

I'm sorry I ruined you. I regret everything, just everything... I love you..}

And

2011-11-04T18:38:00.002+08:00

^{The first semester result is out, and here's mine.

Well it's like seeing my SPM result LOL, since I remember I got only 2As for SPM, if my SPM was like this I'll go havoc in my house, over-excited lol.

=> But damn this result ahha, I almost got into the dean's list, like .07 left OTL

I understand, I will need to work harder for semester 2 ~ o u o

Thanks everyone, for your support. I know I'm not smart, but at least I tried, not bad for the first time.}

431

2011-10-29T14:16:00.002+08:00

^{Dayyum I want this so badly... But I am broke, OTL}

430

2011-10-28T19:03:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtmeoPLi_X0

429

2011-10-28T11:48:00.000+08:00

428

2011-10-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

^{I don't seem to bring good luck.}

I asked myself to these days. What did I do? Where did all go wrong? Which step I took wrong?
Bad luck seems to be following me everywhere, and I seem to be spreading it to people, to you.

I... I am lost for words.. I wish I could type lots.. So there'll be something I want to read. So there'll be something that I at least know my weakness, my mistake.

When I feel like crying, my throat hurts badly. and I will be scratching my head all over, as if I want to take off my head, like it's some kind of an infection. It hurts, like I think my head could bleed when I scratch it. I want to pull off my hair.

I just feel so confuse now. As if I've lost my purpose to live. And without me noticing it, I screw things up and destroying everything that has been a part of me...

I'm confused, and don't know what to do. I know I'm bad...

...And I guess I couldn't save myself..
No wonder everyone hates me... Hates me for who I am, for who I was, and for who will I be.

Why am I like this? Am I just that wrong since the day I was born? I never see the happiness of my dad and mum together, never have a perfect family, got involved into stupid stuffs at school and no luck at all in rejoicing my life, I trust God that I was born for something...

But then I'm finished, for now.The purpose I've been living for... my goal... it's all vanished. Somehow there's just the time where I wish I was never born. Well that's the time now..

I don't think I can be save. It's not about me.. Its never about me. I never bring any happiness, I should just rot and people should burn me. I bring nothing but misery. I couldn't fix things, I couldn't make things any better, even if I could, then a few moments later it'll go down again. I always fail at this.

I just... It's alright. I'll cry myself.

2011-10-27T00:19:00.002+08:00

I should just stop being selfish. What I type might hurt people.

I'll stop typing.

I wanna cry.

Somehow

2011-10-26T20:34:00.003+08:00

^{I feel like drawing, just that I don't have the mood to. Uh no, I am lazy to draw. I still haven't found my scanner's wires. Well I don't really search for it actually, it's just that I know someone's been in my room and cleaned it so it would be my stepmum.
And she wouldn't even know if it's a scanner wires.... I think 8I

Oh well, maybe not because of the scanner. I don't mind, I could just take photo of it LOL.

But yeah, somehow art dies in me. Like I'm not meant to draw anymore, and whenever I tried, I fail to do one even when I force and determine to.

And when I wanna draw, there's nothing in my hands. You know, stuffs we have to get by ourselves, and I don't feel like taking it.

And it'll pass, eventually I don't feel like drawing anymore.

Oh btw, my headphone just broke off the left side, thanks a lot sis, you broke it. No more headphone for me. Particularly means no more music for me. Wow great, now I have to live my life without soundtracks.

I really actually don't have a particular passion anymore though. Or is it just to cosplaying? =_=lll Like I can't stop thinking about it anymore. I may have started it on 2007 but 2010 was my official year of cosplaying. But then I'm afraid that I have too many plans and I might waste my money for that (PT money? Lol). And I notice I only have rm350 now; bank and in hands.

Ah where did my charm go?

It's like everything inside me is fading away, including myself. I don't know anymore what I'm capable of. I couldn't draw, and no it's not art block. I have inspirations like 24/7, you know, envying others' arts and swear I would be better, but then when I start to draw, nothing came out. Huh tell me when was the last time you saw me draw?

Like I'm not qualified to perform my hobby ever again, as if I can't do it anymore.}

Blue Hairclip

2011-10-26T14:39:00.004+08:00

^{Okay, I got this blue hairclip. (Okay now you're thinking I've got nothing else to type is it?) It's cheap but I like it. Why? Because it's simple and I promised myself I would be taking care of it so it won't gone, because if it's gone, then my fringe would be a mess.
Nah won't put a picture of it here, I'm lazy and of course you know how a hairclip looks like XD
Mine is like the triangle shape ~ That's all.

Uh why I am typing about it here? It actually looks interesting.

._. As if I fell in love with a hair clip 8D *smackself*

But I like it -.- seriously, so.}

Percent

2011-10-25T23:08:00.002+08:00

^{And so today I went out with Shuu.
Bought 2 sheets of beige and red XD Supposely for mantle/cape or whatever you call it. And my Helios costume is complete when I bought the black turtleneck shirt (but I think I'm missing the white belt. I'll try to find one later, shouldn't be that hard).

But I didn't get the blue jacket and platform today -.- But it's alright, I guess I'll try my luck again if I'm going out with Syd this Friday.

It was a tiring day actually, after a few hours got stuck in a jam we finally got out, and Syd wanted to have dinner outside. And then the three of us went to eat dinner together.

It was a simple day, but tiring and nice at the same time :)

Sorry short typing. I'm sleepy @__________@

Good night.}

Hope

2011-10-24T19:29:00.003+08:00

^{Just when I thought I would fail and would cosplay nothing on CF day 2, there's a light coming.}

^{1) I got other cosplay coming up in my head, and I bought it already, probably will come tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.}

^{And yeah tomorrow I'll be shopping cosplay stuffs. Two clothes (uh kain I mean) red and light chocolate, beige probably. And I have to get a platform, a decent one. D:}

^{And suddenly, there's this girl that wants me to be a Sebby in their group.}

^WTF.

^{I mean, I bought the stuffs already for CF day 2, but I told them I might consider being their Sebby, since I'm gonna go buy platform anyway, well I hope it won't be expensive.}

^{I got only less then RM400 budget for tomorrow.}

Well maybe yes maybe not I'll be Sebby, depends. but then my own plan for CF day 2 :/

*sigh*

422

2011-10-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

^{No one seems to be replaying my private message(s).
And CF2011 is near.

And I seem to be desperate.

Why?

Because no one is replying, and I might be late to get all my cosplay stuffs that I should be cosplaying for CF2011 day 2 (day 1 cosplay is almost settled already, the little stuffs like the platform and shirt and his uh... 'jubah'(?) can be found here easily and perhaps I could borrow a sword from a friend).

But as for day 2, yeah I think I typed already about how those guys are like dumping me from their group indirectly (just because I lack two sizes which still didn't make any sense) and told me that they're gonna return my money (which they hadn't yet) and they're not gonna have any Superbi Squalo. Yup I was suppose to be him on other day of CF.

But this things happen, and if they say so. I wish they could at least return my money ASAP. I need it like kinda NOW. Well I have enough money and ready to buy my cosplay stuffs now but then I would still need money in terms of life D: you know what I mean.

I wonder if they could see I won't be FFK-ing to buy cosplay stuffs from them (I mean batch or whatnot) and I know if I pay it at the end of the month (got seven days more or so) the stuffs will arrive later than I thought. They say one month, but then this stuffs always arrive later than I thought. You know like a month and few days plus. So I'm afraid if I'll pay that late, it'll arrive after CF, and then it won't be worth it AT ALL.

And I thought of buying the ready-made, so I can alter the size later. But:

1) The person's not replying (yet!)
2) Have to be fast or else someone else will take it.

D: ARGH!

If I fail at everything then (which I try so hard to get a costume OTL) then I guess I won't be cosplaying, well even if I cosplay, not an epic cosplay, just a normal cosplay, and I will busy myself more with nothing, I guess.

*sigh* Why is it that hard to get an easy cooperation?}

421

2011-10-22T16:12:00.000+08:00

Calculation

2011-10-21T15:47:00.002+08:00

200 + china postage 12= 212

rmb 212 convert to malaysian ringgit : 212/1.7 = 125

+ air shipment = 125+15= 140

----

240 + china postage 12= 252

rmb 252 convert to malaysian ringgit : 252/1.7 = 148

+ air shipment = 148+15= 163

----

66 + china postage 12= 78

rmb 78 convert to malaysian ringgit : 78/1.7 = 46

+ air shipment = 46+15= 61

----

rm140+163+61 = RM364

Busy busy busy D:

The Mad Hatter

2011-10-20T19:39:00.002+08:00

CLICK HERE for the song

^{Welcome to my tea party
I knew you'd come
Dissolved into the icy air
It the perfume that captivates you the most

Seat here and relax
Don't hold back, there's nothing to fear
The little sugar candies are pretty, aren't they?
A taste that will drive you mad to the core

I have these sweet secret things
The tarts I stole from the Queen
I prepared tham for you
I risked my life for it

Come, don't cry and eat
We are about to drown in your tears
Eat the mushrooms with skill
Be the right size for me

The grinning cat appears in the form of moonlight

Has your crying calmed down a bit?
I am the only ally you have
Let's tell riddles, let's play
You are sure to forget the passage of time

Oh my! Have you eaten too much tart?
It's the completion of our sin
You can't go back now, prepare yourself
You'll be hunted down by the card soldiers

The reason why I appear to be mad
Is not because of the poisonous mercury
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
It told me to steal you away

Come, let's sing, let's celebrate
You, me, the cat, the mouse and the march hare
My small queen
Let's make you a tiara

Come, let's dance, let's sing
Step on the table with your shoes on
Sneer, pointing a finger at the world
And mix blue with Red Queen

Completely repainting the flowers
I, the insignificant steal everything
An afternoon engulfed by madness
Even if you wake up, I'll be by your side

Could you tell me why you are crying so much, baby Alice?}

417

2011-10-18T16:05:00.004+08:00

^{Today I wake up hoping for a great day to start. I smiled till my ears and tell myself and to the world that it's going to be okay.

I tell myself if I keep smiling the sun will always shine to me. And I will be pretty sure the world will live within me enough for me to live and breathe.

As long as I have a goal to live, the world will be there for me. I believe that God will be there to help no matter how much I tried to be happy.

Even if I don't have anyone else now, I should be grateful that I'm still alive, that I am breathing and I still have myself to live with.

And again, I tell myself that it will be okay.

Everything will be fine.

I live for someone, I told myself. I live to love someone. I am pretty sure everybody lives for something. I have a reason to live.

And I tell myself, no matter how much it will hurt me, I will always live for it, even if it'll break me. I don't mind, I can repair myself, I can fix me.

No matter how much it hurts, so badly. I will still smile. I will still smile even though I am actually crying, consciously or not. I will still smile for you while treating my wound. I will be okay, just almost dying, but never dies because I live for you.

It hurts badly. But I will never say it out loud. Though I know even if I tell, no one will take notice. But it's alright, I am not that important, the world is more significant compare to me. And I still remember the word;

"You are trying hard to make other people happy. I know I'm not the only one."

No one has to worry about me. It's hard I guess to make the world a better place for me to live, or if not, the world would be a better place without me, because I fail to achieve what I want to achieve.

I have no idea if my effort has gone to a waste. But I am still trying. I told myself never to give up. Even if the world doesn't need me, I still have myself. I can speak a word to God lonely, I know in whatever times, only God would listen, only God would understand. I am far too afraid to turn my back on him.

But at the same time, I am becoming more and more of a stranger. I am a mere human. I am fragile. I could be hurt easily. But I don't want to fear anything, even though the smallest word could kill me.

It's alright if I am not happy, as long as the others are. It would be so relieved to see them smiling.

By then I could rest in peace, dear God.}

Empty slots

2011-10-17T19:41:00.002+08:00

^{Ah so they're trying to kick me out from the KHR group politely just because I lack of two sizes to make my costumes, okay so many sizes they want, I gave them so many already and still need two according to them :/ But oh what the hell, they told me I could still come to their photoshoot on Nov5 but then idk actually if I'll be welcome or not.

and I will get back my RM450.

Guess I should use the money for another cosplay costume, I wonder what should I cosplay for CF day 2 now.

I thought I would use it for Belarus's dress, but then I would still lack the daggers (wonder if I would need the garterbelt too and a new socks to fit in and the thing that will hold the daggers onto it) and so I think it would cost a lot more than RM450.

I thought of something simpler, and Lichtenstein came in mind.

Well why not I think? Because I think I could use Helios's short hair as hers and it's not hard to find a purple ribbon and long white socks and I could use my shoes. Her dress is simpler and just below the knees so I thought it would be more cheaper than Belarus's. Most of all, she doesn't own any weapon (like I see in APH). And I have a green lens already :3

So I think it would be no problem, I think her dress would cost about rm300+ and the rest I could go buy the other small details like I stated.}

J-FEST 2011

2011-10-16T12:39:00.005+08:00

^{Was held by the committee of Japanese Language Society of UITM Shah Alam Branch, this event was simple but has performed well to attract people in.
I went there with Ariel, Wan and Zul and together with Mirza and Omar. We arrived at about almost nine.

After that I saw Norfy (real name Shafeqah), the one that did a photo of me and Shuu cosplaying Pandora Hearts during Bunkasai. And most of the time of the day she accompanied me during the event. We went to the 2nd floor so that I could change to cosplay Belarus (Axis Powers Hetalia), she did the make ups because I'm a noob lol ._.

After hours (yes hours) for just make ups, we went to see what's down there. There has been a few cosplayers came already.

And so we went down. The first person I saw was the organizer. You know that guy with a simple cosplay of a mark of one finger. He's polite actually, and kinda asked where's Shuu. Okay he went to work and didn't come I know.

The karaoke competition was on. And Norfy actually got participated. She sang the Hamasaki Ayumi - Trauma. After that I went to the manga drawing competition. I think I sat there for two hours maybe finishing the drawing, and kinda have no idea what did I just draw.

Yeah I drew that. Looks crappy isn't it?

And again I know, that's the Thorn Maiden, my OC 8D

Then I don't really remember what I did. I bought only two badges actually. It's a small event and there's just a few booths there so the badges are like most of it I wasn't really interested ._.

After that the cosplay competition was on. And the organizer brought me upstairs so I could store my bag there (that's where they put the storage and I didn't know the location that time so he showed me the way). After that we looked down from above the floor. And that's it. We went downstairs again.

And after that really pretty much I don't remember what's going on. I think then Norfy and I went to get some beverages. And the rest of the day it ended up me carrying various types of guns.

Ironic, since Belarus always with daggers and knives. But I think guns actually suits her too.

Uh after that? OMG why I really can't remember much, maybe we're just hanging around sit and walk someplace and that's it? It was actually something like that.

And the final round of the cosplay competition started. It was pretty exciting actually. Especially Dandan and his brother. :3

And I think it ended? Something like that.

And borrowed Zack's gun to do some photoshoots. Have to credit him later.

We went home plus some people +Khairie and the twos. And yeah pretty packed, like sardine tin. Kinda grateful that I sat in front lol.

We went to JJ first to eat MCD then only Ariel went to send everyone's home. He was a very awesome emcee on that day, and sending and picking up people's from houses, I bet he's pretty tired yesterday. The bro needs to be hug by everyone. He deserves it.

Ah, that's all I guess. I'll upload the photoshoot pictures in dA and curecos. Will upload in FB too perhaps after Norfy edit the pictures, or me. And will have to add Zack I guess to tag him in the album.

*Oh by the way I got the first prize in the manga drawing competition and Norfy got the third place in the japanese karaoke singing competition, wow at least both of us won something.}

Memoirs of a kuudere.

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No more

So.

500 - FREE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP FOR A DAY

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Tiring

This is fun lol

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I'm sorry

-

Totally random

KI

Busy

As the time goes by

Class

Oh well

All

New day

You guys

New year

2012 cosplay plans

Vector work

Rest

I wish

Everything

It is

:'T

:(

Changing

Comic Fiesta 2011 report

COMIC FIESTA 2011 IS TOMORROW

My OCs and me

Comic Fiesta 2011 in 4 days more

Used to

Nothing

The End.

COMIC FIESTA 2011 STAGE HIGHLIGHTS

Oh well

Assignments

I...

Trivia #3

Trivia #2

Trivia #1

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454 - random

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451 - Exploitation in cosplay

: l

Future budget

Future budget

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Passed 444

orz

Good and bad

Home and whatever orz

Good morning

20111111

Uh

Lots of stuffs, kinda.

Ayanami-sama

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